In England we love game shows. Again, this is not exclusive to our population but I do have to say: we really have been connoisseurs lately.

Deal or No Deal; a cultural phenomenon, not only lead to the resurrection of a television Jesus (with a scarily physical likeness) but also spurned a whole host of translations abroad. Take for example, the sexed up (in more physical way than Alistair Campbell’s dossier) American version. Doing away with the aesthetically distorted members (fat and ugly) of the general populace present in the British version and replacing them with the geometric perfectas of the American supermodel, our transatlantic counterpart oozes all the sex and glam we would come to expect. With this version comes an eccentric, balding gnome who is quite contrary to our own host but who has all the fervency of an excitable American at the gates of BuckingHAM palace.

Then there is the Dutch version and the Japanese and the Nigerian and so on and so forth…. John Fashanu has found work again since Gladiators; the dole office can breathe a sigh of relief. The point I am getting at is that our game shows are becoming a new form of British Imperialism, hell bent on invading the TV sets of those more susceptible victims spread out around the globe.

Look at ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’; the format translated for use in the other countries is crucial to our information gathering subversive agenda. Here, we use it to test the intellect of our closest neighbours, now we’ve detected their stupidity let’s advance and give them a proper old fashioned imperialist education!