Where we have: “Ello there, guv”, a greeting commonly exhibited amongst male friends of certain familiarity, which is fairly centric to London, and almost always precedes the further inquisition; “how’s it all going?” there then exists the: “Hello, how are you?” which is a largely formal way of inquiring about an acquaintance, and is also probably the most sensible way of greeting someone of an unfamiliar appearance. Then there is “alright?” and that’s where the trouble begins.

“Alrights” place in the catalogue of English greetings is a particularly difficult one. It isn’t really a sentence or a question. It is mainly nonsensical and is largely devoid of true sentiment. It has however turned into something of a necessary tool for teenagers and young adults alike. Give any other Anglophonic nation the ‘A’ word, and receive stony stares, bewilderment or even a literal response; “Yes I’m doing great thanks” – is exactly the kind of response a mumbled “Alright” deliberately attempts to avoid.

“Alrights” function is to simply acknowledge the presence of someone recognized, whilst indicating that there is no time or will to stop and exchange niceties. It is in a way a form of dismissal, which is abused by the shy and retiring types of our nation. The adoption of the word in this new context has significantly marked a dramatic departure away from its adjectival or inquisitive purpose. It is now a very familiar greeting, or indeed non-greeting, that has wormed its way onto the streets of Britain and has burrowed deep into heart of our youth culture. The next time someone mutters “alright?” counter them with a; “I so desperately need to talk to you!” and watch the awkwardness unfold.

  Saying “Alright” is tantamount to burying your head in the sand.